I think it’s time I talk about Asynjur, the worldwide umbrella corporation. Most of the old content that I had about them has been removed by my host after it received some threatening letters from the corporation’s lawyers. So I will only write the facts that are known about the company – hopefully you, my friends, would be able to read between the lines…

Roots
1974 – Patrick Woden and Michael Allen, two software engineers fresh out of Harvard, developed a programming language they called SIMPLE for Key Networks Ltd., a computer manufacturer.

1975 – The duo continued developing SIMPLE and eventually made it available for other platforms. Their software became an immediate hit.

1976 – Following their success, they founded Simple Systems. In the next four years they would release several other successful products that would gain them fame and success and enough money to secure their future for years to come.

Golden years
1980 – Simple Systems released Simple Gateways on this year, the groundbreaking OS that has been dominating the market to this day. This helped solidify the small Colorado-based company as a leading software developer.

1986 – Following their growing success, they moved their offices from Castle Rock, Colorado to Denver. In the next five years they open over a hundred offices around the world.

1989 – Simple Systems starts branching into other product lines – buying companies producing everything from automobile and plane engines to fast food franchises. Almost every company they buy doubles and sometimes triples its revenue within the next two years. Pulse Magazine releases an article called A Simple Midas Touch and that becomes the company’s unofficial slogan for the next few years.

Asynjur
1991 – The year everything changed. Marie Diamond, an overnight (and until then – unknown) billionaire performs a hostile takeover, buying 51% of Simple’s shares. Simple Systems is renamed The Asynjur Corporation the very next day. Patrick Woden and Michael Allen find a legal loophole that allows them to remain within the company and secures their positions there; however at this point they have very little control over the company. Asynjur becomes a monopoly in almost every field, ruthlessly crushing any competitor. Michael Allen openly challenges almost each and every company decision following the takeover. He was quoted more than once as saying that Asynjur was destroying everything he and his partner worked to achieve.

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1993 – Michael Allen is found dead in his mansion by his housekeeper. His suicide note describes his dismay at his failure to change Asynjur and the company’s way of making business. Many say the letter is far less aggressive than Allen’s usual stance against the corporation and the specialists examining the handwriting surmised that he must have been distraught and maybe even ashamed at his public outbursts.

… but what else can I do? I know they probably have their reasons and we don’t always see eye to eye… [They] had to fire so many people and I just can’t live with that… So many [people] without a job. I fought long and hard to make Asynjur a better company; maybe I was just unable to see… [that] Asynjur has a positive influence on the world after all…

1996 – Patrick Woden and his wife Rachel are killed in a hit-and-run accident with a large vehicle – possibly a semi truck. They are survived by their son who was with them in the car at the time of the accident. Miraculously the boy survived however he was left paralyzed from the waist down. The offending vehicle was never recovered and its driver remains at large.

2000 – According to Nations Magazine, every household in the world uses an average of three Asynjur-made products.

2004 – Marie Diamond, the enigmatic woman behind the Asynjur Corporation hands over the reins of the company to her only daughter Ann. Marie completely disappears from the business world and from the public eye.

2007 – Asynjur owns at least one company or has at least one office in every country around the world including developing countries and lands under dispute.

2009 – At present, the corporation owns 10% of the world’s wealth, yet it employs an estimated number of 4000 employees globally, relying heavily on automation. Most of their products, like cars and electrical appliances are exclusively assembled in developing countries.